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Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (Camila)

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Title/Series: Twilight (Twilight #1)
Author: Stephanie Meyer
Target: Young Adult
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Rating: ★★
 When Bella Swan moves to the gloomy town of Forks and meets Edward Cullen, her life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. With his porcelain skin, golden eyes, mesmerizing voice, and supernatural gifts, Edward is both irresistible and impenetrable. Up until now, he has managed to keep his true identity hidden, but Bella is determined to uncover his dark secret.

 What Bella doesn't realize is the closer she gets to him, the more she is putting herself and those around her at risk. And it might be too late to turn back...

 It could've been worse. Way worse.

 THERE, I SAID IT. Now, hear me out. What do people claim to hate about this book?

 BELLA. Yes, she's a Mary Sue. Yes, she's dumb as fuck. But, at the end of the day, the worst thing she does is being oblivious to the danger that seems to constantly surround her, from the invisible rocks she stumbles upon to the bloodsuckers and volatile animals she relates herself with. She might neglect her friends and family because all adoration should go to Edward, but when there's actual danger they're the ones she thinks about first, however excessively. She's just a plain, stupid teenager, whose priorities are seriously fucked up. And has the lowest self-esteem ever. BUT I'VE READ WORSE. WE ALL HAVE. If she didn't have such bad press, Bella Swan would be simply forgettable. Her thoughts are so boring, Edward isn't missing anything.

 EDWARD'S OBSESSION. Let's talk about double standards. If Edward is a creepy stalker, so is Bella. Her so-called 'love' for him is just as obsessive. She simply doesn't have the ability to break into his house and watch him sleep, mostly because he doesn't. Sleep, you know. But she constantly thinks about him, looks for him, she asks everyone what they know about him, gets worried and upset when he doesn't show up at school EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW HIM. How is she better than him? Actually, he is drawn by her blood, which 'sings' to him. In trying to justify her creepiness, you can only say that he's hot and mysterious. And, really, how many books we all love have started with a curious chick and a guy who is drawn to someone he shouldn't? They just take it to supernaturally cheesy, annoying and obsessive levels.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.
"What a sick, masochistic lion.”

 Horribly cheesy. Seriously.

“It's twilight. It’s the safest time of day for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don’t you think?

 Casual conversation with Edward Cullen.

 SPARKLY VAMPIRES. In a century where supernatural is cool, and vampires are the new black, Meyer came up with new rules. Are they highly romanticized and narrow-minded? Sure thing. But nobody is making you or me read the book, explore the world. She's just laying it out, offering it. I don't see anyone complaining about Adrian Ivashkov not sucking Sydney dry, Eric Northman falling for Sookie, Cat and Bones fighting evil, or the Black Dagger Brotherhood having the stupidest slang. Just kidding, everyone hates the slang. My point is, "vampires are not supposed to shine" is a shitty argument. Bram Stoker doesn't own vampires whenever you find it convenient.

 Personally, I find the world extremely underdeveloped. Believe it or not, it has potential. The territorial wars from the South and Maria, the Volturi (the 'royalty' of the vampires), vampire and human's hybrids, Alice's past and savior, even the Cullens' lifestyle and the matter of morals. Those are topics that I would have liked to learn more about through the series, instead of seeing every guy alive, undead or undecided hitting on Bella. Plain, stupid Bella.

 THE LOVE TRIANGLE. If only people understood, THERE'S NO FUCKING TRIANGLE. IT'S JUST TWO GUYS PINNING FOR THE GIRL, AND HER EVERY SINGLE TIME CHOOSING ONE OF THEM, EVEN WHEN HE'S GONE AND SUPPOSEDLY NEVER COMING BACK. She never gives Jacob the time of the day, she never really even leads him on. I mean, yes, she hangs out with him when he's clearly in love with her, but she always clarifies that they're just friends (except for their first meeting, she DOES lead him on there, BUT FOR EDWARD-RELATED REASONS, OF COURSE). When Edward is gone, she thinks about him. When Edward is there, she think about him. When she's taking a dump, she thinks about him. She does care about Jacob, she even says she loves him in Eclipse. But even then, she still chooses Edward and immortality with him over everything else without blinking, even if it means leaving everyone behind.

 Twilight is a bad mix of the already bad Romeo & Juliet and Wuthering Heights. Are you telling me either Edgar or Paris ever had a chance at winning the girl's heart over Heathcliff and Romeo? Please. They were there just for dramatic effect. Because God forbid a courtship goes smoothly or the main couple has actual issues to overcome. That would be just wrong.

Unnecessary gif is not unnecessary because Benedict Cumberbatch.

 THE FANGIRLS. Everyone hates them. I get it, I'm as done with Team Edward and Team Jacob as anyone else. But that has nothing to do with the books. It's like hating Justin Bieber for the annoying believers and not because he's an asshole.


 Overall, the worst that I can say about this book is that it's underdeveloped, the dialogue is cheesy and unbelievable, its characters are either one dimensional or don't have a definite characterization to begin with, awful writing, and it's just SO FUCKING BORING.

 Also, Meyer makes more comments about the weather than English people.

 But Alice is cool. I like Alice. And Ashley Greene.



 That's one of the stars. The other is for good ol' times when I loved this. Oh, how I don't miss ten year old me.

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Camila, the opinionated Catruler has read 4 books toward her goal of 100 books.
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